Love Blog Challenge 2019 Starter

LOVE BLOG CHALLENGE

The great interwebs have introduced me to Belle Brita, who has prompts and #bloghops every day in February and she suggested we kick it off with a chat about Love Languages.

I happen to know, from last year’s hop, there are a few Hamilton fans in the audience. So, let’s start with this little relationship tip about enough. This song is from the “Hamilton Mixtape” with the lyrics, because I’m all about the words, ya know?

What can we learn from this? Well, one thing is in this current age of gimme, gimme, more, more – what is most important is enough. Are you giving your partner enough support? Touch? Words of affirmation? To keep them confident and comfortable in your relationship? In my life right now, my husband is having to do a lot of “heavy lifting” to keep our household and my sanity intact. I reciprocate with appreciation. I give him words and affirmative touch, these are what he needs to confirm our bond together. More on that follows.

Also, I think we can all agree that Eliza’s love language: words.

For me…

“What makes your husband a good husband?” I was once asked by a colleague.

I’ll tell you: He scrapes the ice and snow from my car, early in the morning, even though he doesn’t even have to be up yet. He brings me hot tea when I wake up from a nightmare in the night. He asks the question, “What can I do to help you?” and then, and this is the important bit, he does that.

SHOW ME

You see, my “love language” is “acts of service.” I come from a heritage where saying, “I love you,” is redundant. If you love me, truly, then I know because of how you help me, how you help us, how you act toward me, and those who I love. That’s how I feel your love.

This January hit me with the dark, grey, cold, post-holiday exhaustion that hits many of us. Now it’s February – The Month of Looooooovvvvvveeeeee. This post combines two of my favorite subjects: Love and Language, with a music bonus, because…music.

WORDS AS A LOVE LANGUAGE

My husband needs to be reminded, through touch and words, of how much I love him. “Acts of service” are appreciated, but he needs to hear the words. Sometimes, I forget to say them. So, then he reminds me, “You haven’t told me you love me today.” So, then I do. Give it to me straight, tell it to me slow… This is how he feels my love.

Tell Him

Here’s another thing about language that’s important in relationships. Any relationship. If you want, need, desire something – you should tell the other person your expectation or request. You may think it’s obvious. Guess what? It may not be obvious to him/her. I know, right?! I’m always surprised when people don’t know what I think couldn’t be more obvious. I’ve also been “blindsided” by an expectation of someone near to me that I totally did not know. And then I’m the jerk, but…I did not know. Ya know?

Protip: Tell the person before you’re at your wit’s end, before you’re angry, and/or before you “give up.”

Hey! Check out the line-up Belle Brita has for February. Join in if you’d like. I’m co-hosting a few myself and looking forward to the introductions.

For those who we met last year, forgive the middle duplicate bits, but our love languages didn’t change much in this last year. 🙂

What’s your language? Have you asked for what you need today? Can you recognize what is enough?

2019-01-26T12:47:03+00:00Categories: Grown Ups & Downs|Tags: , |10 Comments

10 Comments

  1. Brita Long February 1, 2019 at 11:19 am - Reply

    Yes, sometimes you do need to articulate your needs in a relationship! My husband told me early on that he doesn’t get hints, so I’ve always been blunt with my expectations. 🙂

    • Mardra February 1, 2019 at 6:09 pm - Reply

      Good on him for knowing and stating that right away, too! I had to learn this from my husband. Some tragically funny stories…

  2. Alessia February 1, 2019 at 12:09 pm - Reply

    That’s very true about “enough”. I guess it changes from person to person but sometimes we can be demanding and not see that we are indeed loved because we are looking at the wrong metrics. Sometimes they really aren’t showing it enough, but it’s always good to do some soul searching and see whether we are being more insecure than usual. It happened to me lately, I’ve been a little lonely and what would normally be enough for me became almost as if I received no attention at all!

    • Mardra February 1, 2019 at 6:08 pm - Reply

      I can easily overthink actions/reactions – so as is the blog custom, thought I better write it out for myself, too. 🙂

  3. Nancy Burton Wolfe February 1, 2019 at 4:59 pm - Reply

    “Tell the person before you’re at your wit’s end, before you’re angry, and/or before you “give up.” … You mean he isn’t a mind reader? I have to admit, sometimes I just wish he knew. But then again, I don’t always go to Home Depot with him when he mentions it, so I guess none of us are… Such a good reminder… xoxox

    • Mardra February 1, 2019 at 6:07 pm - Reply

      I think I’m being obvious many a time, but turns out I need to just *ask* Lesson well learned. 🙂 Thanks for the comment. – Mardra

  4. Sarah February 2, 2019 at 11:06 pm - Reply

    I am not married but I think I prefer being obvious and communicating my expectations instead of subtle hints that don’t get understood. It’s no use being angry over un-communicated expectations.

  5. Charlene Maugeri February 4, 2019 at 12:48 am - Reply

    I love that your husband just straight up says “you haven’t told me you love me today.” He knows what he needs and isn’t afraid to ask for it! That’s great!

  6. Gunnar February 19, 2019 at 10:01 am - Reply

    Yep, there are so many ways to show love. I usually do it with poems:)

Leave A Comment