“What makes your husband a good husband?” I was once asked by a colleague.
I’ll tell you: He scrapes the ice and snow from my car, early in the morning, even though he doesn’t even have to be up yet. He brings me hot tea when I wake up from a nightmare in the night. He asks the question, “What can I do to help you?” and then, and this is the important bit, he does that.
You see, my “love language” is “acts of service.” I come from a heritage where saying, “I love you,” is redundant. If you love me, truly, then I know because of how you help me, how you help us, how you act toward me, and those who I love. That’s how I feel your love.
This January hit me with the dark, gray, cold, post-holiday exhaustion that hits many of us. Now it’s February – The Month of Looooooovvvvvveeeeee. This post combines two of my favorite subjects: Love and Language, with a music bonus, because…music.
Love Blog Challenge
The great interwebs have introduced me to a new friend, blogger, who has prompts and hops every day in February and she suggested we kick it off with a chat about Love Languages.
Ahhh, the interwebs and where it takes us. I was writing this and heard the song, “Little Wonders” by Rob Thomas. Love that song, I’ll get back to that later, but first I want to show you the next song that popped up, “Someday” (Again, Rob Thomas).
And I heard these thoughts:
“Give it to me straight, tell it to me slow…”
“Live our lives out loud”
“Sometimes we don’t really notice just how good it can get…”
Here, you check it out for yourself:
Words as a Love Language
My husband needs to be reminded, through touch and words, of how much I love him. “Acts of service” are appreciated, but he needs to hear the words. Sometimes, I forget to say them. So, then he reminds me, “You haven’t told me you love me today.” So, then I do. Give it to me straight, tell it to me slow… This is how he feels my love.
Here’s another thing about language that’s important in relationships. Any relationship. If you want, need, desire something – you should tell the other person your expectation or request. You may think it’s obvious. Guess what? It may not be obvious to him/her. I know, right?! I’m always surprised when people don’t know what I think couldn’t be more obvious. I’ve also been “blindsided” by an expectation of someone near to me that I totally did not know. And then I’m the jerk, but…I did not know. Ya know?
Protip: Tell the person before you’re at your wit’s end, before you’re angry, and/or before you “give up.”
Sometimes we don’t really notice just how good it can get…
Hey! Check out the line-up Belle Brita has for February. Join in if you’d like. I’m co-hosting a few myself and looking forward to the introductions.
Thank you interwebs for leading me to new prompts, new friends, and a new-to-me song, even if it is almost 10 years old it’s just what I needed today.
I am slowly warming up to acts of service now I’m secure in my relationship, but like your husband I need the words or I take them as just being kind!
It’s easier to ask for us to ask for what we need, once we recognize what it is. 🙂
I’m excited to have you join the challenge! Words of Affirmation is my love language, so I need my husband to tell me he loves me. It’s the first and last thing we say to each other every day. 🙂 He still needs to get better about the compliments, but hey, we’re all a work-in-progress, right?
We absolutely are – I’ve been married 21 years and I need reminders.
Absolutely agree on communicating ahead of time what you would like rather than waiting too long and exploding when the poor spouse didn’t even know what your expectations were!