Finish the Sentence Friday a group of bloggers join in and begin with a prompt – Free Write Friday I write for 15 minutes and go. The thing is, with all of everything including a long road trip (which I should be telling you all about, but…I will. I will!), a broken computer and, frankly, a boatload of unchecked anxiety, I haven’t been writing the last several days and that’s…bad. Which brings us back to the subject at hand, it could be said that my first job is writing, however, that’s not what came to my mind, when I saw the prompt.
My first job
My first job is mother to Marcus, I thought this, then I went into a spiral of guilt. (A corollary of the job.) For the last 25 + years my first job is mother – but only recently do I feel (and certainly look) like I acknowledge this as my first job. Most of Marcus’ life I’ve had other jobs, mostly the paying kind, that I’ve given a predominate, perhaps even unreasonable, amount of energy, time, and passion to. So, in the guilt conversation I reminded myself, part of Marcus being my first job is feeding him, clothing him, tuition for the best school for him, and so on. These things require the kind of job that pays money – so that is, also, part of my mother job.
I sat at a fantastic educational session the other day with Dr. Skotko about the health issues applicable to children and adolescents with Ds. It was a two hour session, so obviously just a general overview of the “biggies,” symptoms, and treatments. It was great to hear his anecdotes and hear a real life doctor speaking with such passion and interest in “our kids.” I learned a lot about what other parents know or don’t know by the Q & A after, but to be honest, as I am now fully immersed in this world and research and on, there was nothing he said that I didn’t know before I attended, nothing surprised me. (Again, this speaks to the generalizations he had to speak to in a two hour time, not his expertise which is Obviously much more vast than mine ever will be.)
Though I know these facts, statistics and details now, I did not know all of this when Marcus was a child or even adolescent. We lived the first 20 years with my total ignorance of many of the issues specific to Down syndrome, and, well, would I have been better at my Mom-Job had I known this information? That leads down the what-if-black-hole-of-doom and although I am inclined to climb in, it’s not the most productive place.
SO – keeping in the now, my first job – Marcus’ mom. Is it so different now for me than before?
Marcus and I have always had a special connection. Patti Saylor and I were talking about this at NDSC; she mentioned how with “our boys” we energize off one another. He gets his energy from me and I get my energy from him, it’s fantastic and almost magical clockwork of wheels and cooperating gears. I get him, I see what others don’t see, and now I am excited to share this. He recharges me, teaches me, and supports me.
I didn’t expect when I left the “real job” world that sharing Marcus and his stories would become such a huge part of my “job.” That is because the job has evolved, as they do; it’s now not “just” about Marcus, though of course he’s first, it’s about lots of people. The quote – “When you know better, do better.” Over these last few years, I’ve learned so much and I want to do more. And everything I do that’s for people like Marcus and their families, I do for Marcus, too.
So, the timer is beeping and, as is the case with FWF – I don’t really know what I intended when I began today’s rant, but I have to wrap up. Closing thoughts – Finish the Sentence Friday Folks – thanks for the prompt, (thanks for not adding a verb), and I hope I can play again soon; next time I’ll give it more than 15 minutes. Probably. 🙂 Everyone who’s stopped by, check the links here for the other First Sentence links – always a great variety of fun and experiences, very likely all more thought out and less ranttish than mine.
If you’re new to this blog, please take a look around. Especially check out Marcus’ first story-book for children (that was just released a few weeks ago) Black Day: The Monster Rock Band. Please, feel free to leave a comment and/or share and if you want updates, not to frequently, join the club here.