Eternally Grateful for the Ending that Wasn’t

They all lived happily ever…pleased me as a child. Even as an adult, I like a story to have a “happy ending.” In real life, though, how many happy endings are there, really? I shudder to think.

I often Focus on Beginnings

For example, the beginning of Marcus, my first and only child: A beautiful (of course) son, born with deep blue eyes (which stayed blue), a heart defect (which needed repair), and a triplicate of the 21st chromosome.

When he was nearly two years old and weighed only 18 pounds, I carried him

April is…

Your Heart

in that antiseptic room

your tiny chest opened


once considered a miracle




now science




in my wallet

a diagram

a heart

with arrows




I run

with you

running you

through life


For enough life

whatever we get

should be enough


Is that possible?

probably not

we take


pack in

every minute


all we get is

a few precious minutes

here and there



make minutes matter


bring joy


create hope


teach purpose



your heart

beautiful beating heart


I keep watching

keep watching you

and your heart…



So, in April I tend to go to the hard moments that came from the April’s before, including handing my sweet baby over to heart surgery all those years ago. We had a long reprieve from

April’s A-Z Challenge Posts

The Road We've SharedOver at The Road We’ve Shared, in April I talked about Changing the World, Heart Surgery, Marcus the Musical, Police & Patience, Truth, and What Should Have Been Said…

Changing the World

There are many C words that came to mind that accompany this idea of change. What about challenge? It is our challenge to speak-up. I believe, I really do believe, that if advocates continue to speak up, even if we don’t agree on the details,

Post Traumatic Surgery Disorder

That’s our PTSD

Marcus is going “under” for some dental work soon. I’m a bit freaked out. The last time Marcus had a procedure that required anesthesia he awoke screaming.

It was about 15 years ago after his tonsillectomy and adenoid surgery.

Screaming. And continued to scream. And scream. Oh my God how it must have hurt to scream and cry like he did.

But what else can a young person do when he is in pain, and confused at the pain, and…?

2014-03-20T16:12:21-05:00Categories: Grown Ups & Downs|Tags: , , , |1 Comment
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