Once Upon a Time

Love…True Love

In my teen years, I thought love was all fire and ice. Love was meant to be an extreme emotion full of passion, rage, jealousy, and greed. Love meant big fights and deep pain, only real love caused the kind of pain that proves how true the love is. 

Obviously (or not) I didn’t have many, maybe any, positive relationship role models at the time. So, I relied on music, movies, and books for love directions. 

Oh. Dear. 

Therefore the tropes of forbidden love, violent, and reckless love were bought and sold by me as the truth.

Facing the Vast Horizon

My nephew was on a California beach on his 9th birthday. He looks pretty comfortable with beach life, doesn’t he? I expect he sees the ocean as a giant adventure.

Some people look at the ocean, the waves, and colors and it brings a sense of calm. I have a hard time even imagining that emotional response.

Over the last few years, I’ve had occasion

Calling My Bluff

 

A few months ago, a simple picture of me as a child surfaced and, it surprised me when my psyche shattered into a million broken pieces. I grieved, I gnashed, I wept…for that child, that sweet girl with bright blond hair and a silly grin. I wanted to hug that child and smooth her hair. I’d kind of pushed out all the recollections of that child.

Quote I saw floating around this week. Ah, yes…that.

As I’ve mentioned, even recently, if there was ever a “complicated” mother-daughter relationship, ours qualifies.

And Now…

Last week

The New Year’s Rant

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The last few years I’ve chosen to gulp up life, racing like I’m running out of time. I do feel that way. I don’t know what’s next (after this life) but I know the time we have here is precious and brief and for reasons I cannot explain, I am compelled, pushed, to make the most of the moments I have. To share those moments. To do better. To leave a legacy. To have an impact on the humans in my life and community. And to do all this while I can.

‘Tis