Heart Surgery and Happy Endings

The Best Endings Aren’t

They all lived happily ever…pleased me as a child. Even as an adult, I like a story to have a “happy ending.” In real life, though, how many happy endings are there, really? I shudder to think.

I often Focus on Beginnings

For example, the beginning of Marcus, my first and only child: A beautiful (of course) son, born with deep blue eyes (which stayed blue), a heart defect (which needed repair), and a triplicate of the 21st chromosome.

When he was nearly two years old and weighed only 18 pounds, I carried him through the hospital doors the

2017-09-30T13:41:51+00:00 Categories: Grown Ups & Downs|Tags: , , |0 Comments

Our Amazing Adventure

To my son

Sometimes, the dreaming, the planning, and the anticipation that build up a destination are all part of the excitement. Other journeys take unexpected turns, are filled with surprising delights, and have anxious moments. They lead us out of our comfort zones, seeing, touching, and exploring worlds new to us. Our journey so far, has been both.

Soon you will turn 27, and I feel as blessed as ever to be on this amazing adventure with you.

The day you were born, I held you in my arms and our path

On Becoming Marcus’ Mother

The sun shone in through the small hopper window near the ceiling. I woke up slowly and watched the sun beams that drifted to the floor. I knew it. I was a mother. From the outside I did not look…ready.

In my heart, I was. I smiled. I quit smoking.

The next week I went to the Doctor’s office for a pregnancy test. I didn’t bother buying one from the store because, well, as I said – I knew.

The test came back negative. The nurse and I spoke a bit about why I thought I was pregnant, her head shook dismissively as she wrote in the chart. I began eating lemons, friends looked at me and shrugged. Three weeks later I bought a pregnancy test at the drug store and it confirmed my knowledge. I returned to the doctor.

2017-05-13T11:21:01+00:00 Categories: Grown Ups & Downs|Tags: , , , |12 Comments

I Wish I Knew

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I wish I knew…Oh my, we could be here a while. There is no end to what I wish I knew. To what I want to know. To what I am trying to learn and what I wish was just deposited into my tiny brain without me having to work so damn hard for it!

bubblesLately I’ve been reflecting and noticing what I’ve learned over the last few years especially about medical and social issues relating to disability, of course most specifically