On Becoming Marcus’ Mother
The sun shone in through the small hopper window near the ceiling. I woke up slowly and watched the sun beams that drifted to the floor. I knew it. I was a mother. From the outside I did not look…ready.
In my heart, I was. I smiled. I quit smoking.
The next week I went to the Doctor’s office for a pregnancy test. I didn’t bother buying one from the store because, well, as I said – I knew.
The test came back negative. The nurse and I spoke a bit about why I thought I was pregnant, her head shook dismissively as she wrote in the chart. I began eating lemons, friends looked at me and shrugged. Three weeks later I bought a pregnancy test at the drug store and it confirmed my knowledge. I returned to the doctor.