OK, Americans are fat. Everyone knows this, right? And the worst part about it is, we know better. We’re not just fat, we’re fat on purpose. We all know fast-food is bad, but the lines of cars still roll through. We know processed food will kill us, but summer grills are covered with hot dogs. And don’t get me started on portion sizes. OK, well just this one…

I went to a movie the other day and for the first time in years I saw a bag of popcorn that wasn’t a bucket. It was called the “smaller.”

Brilliant! American’s (apparently) won’t buy a “small popcorn,” but they may buy a smaller (than-the-bucket) popcorn. It’s simultaneously hilarious, sad, and true.

Given all of this, a person with a lower BMR doesn’t have a chance.