There have been a few days when I’ve leaned back against the wall and thought, “Oh…this is the hard part. This is what I was afraid of.”

When they rolled my son down that white hall into heart surgery, I nearly imploded from the sheer fear of losing him, of the possibility he may never make it out of that room. So many moments since the day of his birth, his smile brightened the world; I couldn’t imagine living a life without that smile.

That process, his heart surgery, was the hardest of my life. And, I’m going out on a limb here and assume his too. But he made it through to give us more smiles. In fact, there is rarely a day that goes by that we don’t laugh together, Marcus and I.

Every time since then that I have leaned on that wall and said, “This is what I dreaded,” it has not been because of something Marcus could or could not do. I have never felt that sore feeling of the wind being kicked from my sails because of something Marcus said or did to me. No, those moments have come from outside our safe zone.

Today it came from Richard Dawkins as he replied to a person saying on Twitter, “I honestly don’t know what I would do if I were pregnant with a kid with Down Syndrome.”

I hope that you read on here via the my blog on the Huffington Post.