“So,” the devil on my shoulder asked accusingly, “Exactly What have you accomplished this year?”
My shoulder angel has been harder to keep alert lately, but she wagged her index finger and said, “We haven’t been lolly-gagging.”
“Oh yeah?” the mini-devil persisted. “Well what have you got to show for it! A book?” he yells and spits, “Two Books!?!”
“No…” the angel shuffled her feet and whispered the reply. “But-”
“But, what?”
“Well, we did read a lot of books.” She looked at me hopefully, “Does that count?”
No, the shoulder devil and I agree, that’s not enough. “Didn’t I get anything good done?” I ask as well.
“Except for starting the blog and website?”
“Yes, except that.”
“Except for speaking with Quinn at The Fine Lines summer camp and also speaking at the College of St Mary’s Domestic Violence Candlelight Vigil?”
“Yes, except for those.”
“Hmmm,” says the angel rubbing her chin, “What about the Momaha blog Why I Rise or the Guest Blog on the UK’s Downs Side Up?”
“Blogs? DO those count as publication? Oh Plueese…” reprimands the devil.
“Alright. Fine. How about winning, YES, winning the PPWC Flash fiction contest with the short work: Malleable.”
“Did you win any prize?” the devil wanted to know.
“Um, well, not really, no.”
“Doesn’t count.”
“Ok! Ok! Let’s not forget, the essay “Unread Books Bookshelf” accepted and included in the 1 Bookshelf section of the American Anthenaeum Anthology published by the Sword and Saga Press.”
“Were you paid?”
“Yes. Well, kind of,” she holds out her hand, “In seeds.”
“What is this Jack & the Beanstock? Who counts seeds as payment? Is that all you’ve got? For the Year?”
“Well, there is one other thing.”
“This’ll be good,” he grumbled
“We did publish the Essay: Arguing Eugenics
“Yeah. How many have sold, then?”
“That’s not really the point.” And then she adds to his raised eyebrow, “It’s only $1.25 each. We weren’t looking to retire on it.”
“I see. Soooo like I said. Didn’t really get much done this year.”
The angel gives me a wink and says, “We’ll try harder next year.”
“See that you do!”
And so we begin again.
You. Are. Awesome.
(take THAT, shoulder devil!)
Yes, you have done stuff and I love the way you wrote this. You win.
Thanks Kelly. YTB 🙂
I have been a victim of shoulder devils for years. I found a good topical ointment like Aspercreme, or Devilkill really helps.
I am also a victim of dust bunnies, for which Rabbitol has helped.
Apercreme? Really? I’ll have to give that one a try.
Thanks love.